Mostly because I’ve been doing so, so badly. 

It’s hard to keep up with a ~recovery Tumblr~ when you’re not, you know, recovering. 

But I haven’t given up. I just…have to keep trying. 

outremangeuse:

apolide:

I hate how bulimia (and BED) is seen as the ‘weaker’ illness. I can’t begin to explain the power involved, being scared to get out of bed because you know for a fact you will eat everything, and anything. I hate how it’s seen as not as bad by doctors. What part of eating cake mix, not mixed properly together, because you couldn’t wait to mix it and cook it for 15 minutes is not bad? When your whole life revolves around how and where you’re going to get your next binge. Not caring about the consequences of shoplifting, if it means you get a binge then it doesn’t matter what could happen, as long as you get to eat. What part of that is powerless? Voices in your head telling you not to eat anything, because you don’t deserve it, half an hour later you’re bent over the toilet throwing up 1000’s of calories because you had 1 piece of bread or something else insignificant, therefore you’re a failure so you might as well eat everything in the kitchen, and then some more. The moment where you look at your bank balance and realise you’ve effectively flushed all your money down the toilet, and now have nothing to live on. Can someone explain to me how this is weak? Or not as dangerous. All I see is death and destruction, and where are the good things in that?

Thank you

it’s the wooorrrssstt

Alright. Let’s do this. I can get back on my feet starting now.

I don’t think I’ll ever get better.